I recently reread all my old posts and comments on Facebook. Damn, I came a long way. From this weird nerd fucker who writes like: "Oh Hey Thanks I Love Caps On Every First Letter Of My Words," at least I normalised that. Now that I look back at it man, I was fucking weird and creepy.

Oh well, time and experience changes people. I never actually enjoyed all of it, because having a fouler mouth a the day goes by doesn't help when socializing with strangers - but hell, I couldn't give two fucks about what people think about me. But those who can still accept me for who I am, those people are getting closer and closer to me. Refreshing enough, at least. Don't need friends who don't need you.

I just felt like ranting about that. Maybe I have come a long way from what the hell I was back then, as some say. Or maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better and more secure. No matter. Time will tell.

On a side note, I kinda miss writing poetry. But it might reignite unnecessary bursts of feelings that could carry me to a state of hatred and emo-ness. So we will see. I will consider the consequences. Perhaps a request for me to write one could allow me to write without actually resurrecting  such upheaval in my soul.

But this may be the last I will give a chance to my feelings. If the next one doesn't work the way it should, I'd be the ultimate defender of my heart, as such is my brother/coach/trainer. I'd rather have somebody else's Smirnoff bottle break than my own.

On that, I bid thee all farewell. Of hope that the flame will rekindle or perish for all chronos.
So after a recent ordeal in my life and reaching the state of being on the verge of a mental breakdown, I achieved a state of mind that I never thought I could before. I was able to stop overthinking, which was a really bad habit I had - Really helps build headaches and bad feelings.

I've also discovered the importance of being vain. I never actually bothered before - How I look, what I wore, I couldn't give two fucks about it. Until recently my brother said something that made me realise;

"You want someone to love you for who you are, of course; but don't you want someone who loves you inside, as well as outside? You can't deny it - In this world it's important to look good and reliable"

It was then it hit me. So here I am, almost 2 months in training with my brother, and I've found the drive and the need to look good and be healthy as well. Things will change, so will I.

I also started...well, partying. It gets my mind off things very well. It may seem bad to others, but I don't see nothing wrong with it as long as I learn to control myself.

No point being loyal when there is no one loyal to you, no?

And hence two of my three golden rules, that I have upheld for my whole life has been broken. And I have no remorse about it.

My other brother as a counselor said that my happiness is the priority. So here it is. These are the things that make me happy. Life is short, I'd rather not waste a moment of it.

And hence, the death of the poetic soul marks the end of this blog. My final post for all time.

I bid everyone good life and find your happiness.

Finale; Adieu.
Its surprising to me that I actually got an answer for something that puzzled my mind. Although it might had....caused some sort of awkwardness to arise. Heh. I guess sometimes what we think we show is not what others see in their eyes. Perspectives, perspectives. I had been blabbering on about the "Blue Rose", about how unattainable that is, but it would be if I had been much more obvious and truthful in my journey. One lesson learnt today is I should never expect people to be obvious to what I think is obvious - Lest I end up facing obliviousness.

The Journeyman's Folly

An illusive journey he took that day,
Twisting, turning, strolling, frolicking,
Only to lead the Blue Rose astray,
And to gain the title of Dud King.

Had he went straight,
He may have grasped true,
Why toddle in Hell's Eight?
Now the Rose remains Blue.

But a lesson learnt by him in life,
Is sometimes truth is the way to strife,
For sometimes workarounds are naught but ice,
And now he knows not to fool one twice.
A darkened heart of one named Vengeance,
For it plagues him like a demonic pestilence,
And he seeks not for equilibrial balance,
For they are nothing but transience. 

A shadowy soul with no remorse,
He marches on with his corrupted horse,
One may wonder what is the source,
Of such destructive feelings and force.

A sudden appearance of a stellar soul,
Had led him astray from his corrupted goal,
For a soul so warm as though a starlit stroll,
To pull him away from the abyssal hole.

"In amorem incideris....Coepi te amare"

But could one so corrupted be cleansed for eternity,
For Vengeance was on the brink of Insanity,
Would he vanquish the evil and gain serenity,
Or would it destroy his hopes and humanity?

Answer not, for Vengeance knows,
The future of which was froze,
For what lies before him destroyed his woes,
Such is the beauty of the Blue Rose.


Here is one, from the poetic soul.

Hope of the Folly

The world grows with cruelty,
Not a single sign of fealty,
Is this the new reality?
Humanity is losing humanity,
Humanity is losing humility,
And in this soul grows insanity,
Judgmental eyes soar the land,
The earth loses all that is grand,
Is it all worth in the end?
Tomfoolery plagues society,
Only to fill one's satiety,
Where goes our sobriety?
I wish for eyes to see the truth,
For the sake of the youth,
Lest our souls be uncouth.

The one rose will give me hope,
To vanquish the soul of this lycanthrope.


Reality is something that makes me feel weary.
I've seen myself as a child who imagined life as something with beauty and hope.
But once faced with the perilous lands of life, you realise that all the things you've hoped for can never be so wrong and superficial.

Not that I really mind - In fact the harshness of life had made me who I am today - Realizing that my feet are indeed, on the soil, not the clouds. Recently I've been listening to this song - "Lost Heaven" by L'arc en Ciel. It's lyrics really does remind me of all the split path that we all took, and how those choices had actually made our heaven become lost. And perhaps all of us could have made better decisions in life. Time flies.

Well, that is what I've been thinking about recently. And being myself, strong feelings draws Firaga to write certain literature arts.

*Lost Heaven, Granted Hell*

The beauty of life,
Shone on each one of humanity,
For each soul to strife,
And achieve serenity.

Time passes - what do we seek?
No longer beauty or happiness in life,
But lust and greed and that of reek,
A split path we all took in life.

For what matters does not,
The paradox of this paradigm,
The unhappy and ignorant lot,
Astray - for that single dime.

The heaven we dreamed of ages ago,
Lost in the midst of the abyss,
Now we live with nary a taste of paradise forgo,
Living in hell is in itself bliss,


The folly of this soul to believe that people will actually understand it.
When people do nothing but try to indoctrinate you with their ideals and thoughts.
They know not of the hell I've lived.
One cannot fathom the pain and suffering.
One will never know how it feels.

But yet, they try to shove their ideals into this tormented soul.
I am here now, on my own two feet.
Nary a single help was given - only words and words and more empty words.
If what you say - you wish me to believe, then prove your words - Show me a decisive evidence.
But if not, stay away from what you know not of - It shall do you better.

They give you hope - they raise you up the mountain, and let go.
They jest with this soul.
They will feel the wrath.
The hatred.
The sorrow.
The madness.
What of it?

Challenge my will.
Otherworldly thoughts are of no meaning on this ground.

They know nothing.
They know not.
I know.