I've always believed that living alone and relying mostly on yourself is the way to go in life. True enough, as I've reach this level of university with efforts done that nobody can help you with. But knowing that you've learned the hard way to live life - Knowing that in the end, you can only rely on yourself is quite a bitter things to live with. I guess I've reached that level, where I'm on the tip of the scale - whether I will choose to embrace my solitary life, or will I stand here, waiting for the blue rose that will never come? I wouldn't know. A heart hurt countless times tends to want to avoid itself from getting hurt again. But that is something one needs to ponder deeply. For if the blue rose does exist - and as one finally finds it - mayhap the solitary sadness within will shatter into pieces.

But as a friend said to me - ask yourself - can you live without it?

I know I can. But I know I don't want to. Life's down enough. Facing it alone? I'd rather not. After facing it alone for 20 years, I don't think anyone would want to continue living a life of shit being tossed at you and you have nobody to turn to.

When you've lived strong for all your life, there are times where you wanna share it all together with someone, knowing that when things go awry - there is somebody who'll be there for you. Its reassuring, no?

So, whatever. Just gonna hold out as always for now. Growing tired of it, but the moment you give up is the moment you lose. Living strong is the way to go. Its how I've been living for years, and I don't plan on losing to life's everlasting rain of poop.

Well, whatever. Live strong and heartless - you'll be pain-proof. But you'll lose something very important in the process. Adieu.

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