Its not a new thing to me. But may seem to be new to some.

Living a life of hell and having people lack understanding about you is how I've been living over the past years of my life. I never do complain about it usually. But sometimes when you keep everything to yourself, things seems bleak on your end. You try to tell it to the people you think are the closest to you but they lack understanding of your soul. Surprising enough, considering they've been with you for as long as you can remember.

In the end, when you're left alone, you know you can only rely on yourself and nothing else. Sometimes your strength may seem inadequate, but it is as such because you are still a single body. Holding on to false hope is only going to make things worse. So I decided to live reality. The bleak reality of the living whose humanity has been close to zero. When you hope for nothing, you have no expectation. Expectations that do not come true only brings more scars.

So this is my ode to myself - an ode of the world's abyss.

A life,
Not as beautiful as the blooming of flowers,
Nor as lively as the green glades,
Not as hopeful as the magnificent sun,
Yes, this is not a rich kid's life,
This is mine, of dark abyss.

Life defecates on my soul,
Laughing and loving as I suffer through,
Draining my vitality - Plaguing my spirit,
But disbelieve keeps me alive,
For I have no need for chants and support,
When I have damned my own self.

To those judging me right now,
I am not here to please you,
I am not a spoiled brat who suffered null,
You cannot fathom the hell I've lived,
In the seemingly endless chaos I scurry through,
Of the bottomless pit I dive into.

I call to thee,
Be not a shadow of me,
Know that there is more to life,
Give up hope and heartless you will be,
As how I act to hide it all,
Let my mask be your reality.


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